What shall we do now?

A Report by Dunking (written by Bill Jingle – as Dunking cannot write)

Him Dunking thank Him Bill for writing down Dunking words.

Dunking go on first mission for towers and is now Valley Hero, well is maybe Hero for short purple people and them who like to drink.

Dunking go on mission with others

Cara-dac, Cara-mac, Cara-snack, Cara-wank, Cara-twat (Him have many names and was in charge)

Kyle (stinking human with big hip flask and huge tankard)

Renown (dirty human who do bad things in waters)

Hierophant Malice (think Dunking chance of promotion improved when meet Malice)

Gob (Him wear heavy Sutnac chain – think Dunking wear chain now)

Mr Neko (silly cat, but Him not animal)

Dreeden (Him not make up mind which sphere want cast, so cast all of them)

Yorkie Hand-poof (Him from Dalehoven but now not live in library and guide us – him VERY loud)

We told to go find bar and make free, sound good to Dunking.  Think told other stuff but stopped listening after mention bar.  

We head off and walk for beer and find Hordelings instead, they nearly kill us but we manage to survive.  We walk some more and flask nearly empty then get attacked by things that Forget; they dead people in head with spirit inside.  They nearly kill us but we manage to survive, except Cara-dac who Him fall over nearly dead, him make nice snack and get first new name.

We find New Inn, it look nice but have two strange Wizard men inside, they talk of Dark Fairy and be turn to dust, and then building burst into flames.  Dunking get water and put out fire so can drink.  While having drink big fat Hordeling with curly hair come in and say some stuff, think him called Ragamuff hufflepuff or something like that.  Hufflepuff give lots of scrolls and say we must wake up land and form new gates or mists run out, he give big pile of scrolls, Dunking refill tankard.

Think that it for night, as Dunking forget but wake up next morning with sore head.

After breakfast (no fish) fight some Hordelings (we nearly killed but manage to survive) then told must go find mad yellow man who head of Aether Town; not remember this brief so must have been in night when Dunking drink.  We head off for long walk in sand looking for mad yellow man.  

We fight magic things, very annoying, we fight dead things, very annoying – they all nearly kill us but we manage to survive.  Him Dunking not sure how there so many adventure men as nearly always getting killed by everything we meet.  We meet Shadow lady on own, she talk many words say she not happy that we kill a whore’s son, then she stomp off and say she show us.  Silly lady threaten and stomp off so Gob follow her and kill her – guess she show us later?  Just as kill silly shadow lady, some shadow men attack, they nearly kill us but we manage to survive.

We find Pordaradrim man, him have lots of new stuff, but still want to steal mushroom from Dunking bag.  Him ask where we want Death Mushrooms planted, Dunking suggest at entrance to Shadowmen land.  We must be getting better as we survive this encounter, luckily Pordaradrim man only talk.

We stop for snack while Cara-snack go scout.  We hear big peal of thunder from Sky and huge bolt of lightning fly down; then Cara-snack come back but his hair all frizzy and stand on ends.  Cara-snack say he think him found mad yellow man.  

Him cat send whisper message to Malcolm Middletown and then we go talk to mad yellow man but him not talk much.  He have some yellow things with him and they keep firing bolts of lightning everywhere, was big fight and some get killed, not sure how rest survive.  Gob and Kyle they fall on floor covered in sparks, but they taste nice.  Malcolm Middletown him arrive, but for some reason him bring dead people who forget with him, perhaps him think we not have enough people dead on floor?  We kill dead things while Malcolm try kill mad yellow man, unfortunately for Cat him get in way of big sword of mad yellow man and take early catnap (Him nipples tasty snack).

When all things dead really dead and we wake up our dead people then we watch the mad yellow man and Middletown show; think it a weepy.  Mad yellow man say him not take his tablets, or lose his tablets and him fall apart and kill everyone, so should step down and fall apart.  Middletown protest (but not much) and mad yellow man give Mr Middletown his hat, perhaps to keep sun off head and then Him disappear.  Mr Middletown say him now Lord but we must say so then he go away.

We take big nap in trees but keep getting disturbed, first by some Salad men who not like pure races, them only like dirty humans.  Then strange wizard man scout come talk us about magic but not find us have any magic men, so head off back to own magic people to talk magic – Dunking confused.  We nearly killed again, but managed to survive.

We head back because Dunking flask nearly empty.  We meet more Salad men on way back, they try to enlighten Dunking by offering him beer; want take me and cat away for some party but we kill them instead; we nearly killed but managed to survive.

Finally we get back to New Inn and refill flask and drink some beer.  While we have drink some people come in and say some stuff, not really listen to what they say as them boring but think remember them say that some important people either missing or dead.  

It seem that Goblin King go on a picnic and not return, no one know why.  Senate now in charge but Goblins even more confused than before, think is because they all Senators so big argument in Warrens.  Cara-wank him say that Mr Middleton want crown to go with yellow hat from mad yellow man.  Also find out that Lord Jalinoss from Hospital go out looking for cake and get killed; Cara-wank say that Him Mr Middletown want nice jacket to go with yellow hat and Goblin Crown.  Also told that whilst picking up tablet from floor in Library Lord Mr Manypages get killed from large bookshelf fall on him; Him Cara-wank say that Mr Middletown seen shuffling away after pushing over bookshelf because him want another hat to wear.  Look like Mr Middletown Him been busy.  We told that Valley have new name now and is called Middletown.

We have big serious chat now that so many Lords gone or replaced and all change everywhere; Cara-dac worried that maybe Mr Middletown want complete wardrobe.  Dunking wonder who next, think Mr Middletown want some shoes maybe, or perhaps a new bra – Lady Isabella maybe have same cup size as Mr Middletown? Wonder if him like staff, Arbor have big staff……

After much drink, but never enough, and good food, but not fish we go stop Kalid men who running away from something.  We have many strange fights with Kalid men all fleeing from something, but never once stop and ask nicely if we get out of way.  We all nearly killed many times but manage to survive although think that maybe someone else die but not remember as have fish for brains.  Do remember that Hierophant Malice nearly turn tide of battle – Him Renown take long time to get behind Kalid men to kill Healer.  Just when ready to attack him Malice come and help and Fear Renown, but Renown run wrong way.  Not sure what Malice tactic was but him Hierophant so must be wise.  We finally find out why Kalid men running and what scared of – more Kalid men.  Seem True Kalid men no longer Kalid but beast Kalid men now Kalid and them hunt others – Dunking confused so have drink.

Dunking Flask nearly run out so return back to Inn.

We wake up next day and have to finish ritual stuff for hufflepuff.  Dunking learn some new letters and can even write some new words – Dunking now know – TIT, TAT, AT, IT, I, TOOT.  

We go long walk look for sacred Mist place near waterfall to open first gate for Mists.  We fight lots of things on way.  For some reason Gob, Renown and Cara-twat take turns to go scout and bring creatures back to us to fight rather than let us cast and attack.  We nearly killed lots but manage to survive.  We get to sacred tree, where suddenly Gob can read and talk like human, him strange.  We cast rituals at tree, three in total, after each one things of Mist appear and attack, we nearly killed but manage to survive.  Finally we finish ritual and create guardians, them mighty Druidic Monk Mice, not think was meant to be mice, but them still hard unless you have cheese.  

That first Mist Gate now done so others can do other two.

Dunking flask nearly empty so head back to Inn.

Have nice food (not fish) and more drink (but never enough) before get told to go kill some Shadow men.  Seem they last of followers of a whores son and want die with honour, that silly, but we oblige them.  Have few fights up to some ruined buildings.  During one fight Him Dunking nearly die, bad shadow man leap out of darkness and strike Dunking in back with evil Harm.  Lucky for Dunking that Dreeden also there and give Dunking quick cure.  Strange though that Dreeden not warn Dunking though, as Dreeden standing right where Shadowman was so must have seen him.  Once all Shadowmen dead, Dunking flask nearly run out so return to Inn for final party.  Everyone come and have party and talk including new Lord of Middletown and some of his mates.  All have big party and now have new Inn for Valley people and Dunking Hero.

That story over now give Him Dunking 20 Gests for more beer.