The Raging Torrent - by Caradac


Water Day

Hero Giles led a group including Hero Delta and Hero Brother John.  These three were helped by Sergeant-Champion Smudge, Slag, High Priest Barleycorn, Ronny and a couple of Naughty People.  Naughty.

We met at the Valley inn where Isabella (Leader of the School of Acting) and Nathdrinor (her Assistant) had been asked by the Green School of Magic to get us to fix their access to Arcane Magic.  Again.  It seemed that as well as a shocking lack of Green Magic, there was also a shocking lack of Green Magicians.  Shocking.

They were accompanied by the Leader and Administrator of the Temple of Earth Magic.  (Please, no one else try to explain that one to me.  Please?)  They had come to tell us that the Garamites lived on a Half a Dirty Sandwich that was quite plain but also very poisonous.  They also couldn’t make their minds up whether the Garamites had better access to Dirty Magic or whether it was just different.  Like from around the other side.  Apparently.

Anyway, the half a dirty sandwich was connected to Orange Rakafa at some Points of Power.  We knew of three.  One near the Pajama People, one in the Gilden Hills and the last at Starfall Lake.  Oh and they were making Dirty Water.  Maybe.

The Valley was already working with the Leering Tinmen, The Pod People and the Wizards Concermilium.  So we were going to work with them too.  They gave us a Thingy of Travelling so we could whoosh around Orange Rakafa a bit and a Tea Towel of Knowledge so we would, er, know stuff.  Shiny.

In other news, Lord Velteyn and Faldor Steel had eaten bad Sandwiches but not from the same plate.  They were both Very Poorly and staying at the Hostypital.  The Sandwich poison wasn’t the same as the Dirty Water poison so we were supposed to fix that as well.  Pah.

Njord Forgesonsonsonson said Faldor had eaten a bad Sandwich when he wasn’t meeting Sir Termigan.  Lord Velteyn was Very Secret and no one would tell us even when we asked really nicely. Awkward.

Anyway, on account of the whole Primus being on holiday or in the Hostypital or just a bit disappeared, there was a List of people who were Very Forward for a New Primus.  There was a Status leak in the VAT and people were Very Concerned. As usual.

Maggot had Fits about some Gammon, the Assistant Monastery visited and the Goblin King denied everything.  Beer…

Earth Day

A Druid came to prove that Naughty People have no sense of humour.  Finn Darkflame, Marik (cold-hearted murderer to the poor and infamous) and Dibbler (Pie Maker at the Hostypital) came to visit us.  They said that the Sandwich poison was made with blood and we would need to find the Bleeder to get it cured.  Blood!

Oh and someone with a Green Heart and Lithium told us some more stuff about Dirty Water things.  The Concermilium had sent some people that didn’t have a meeting by Starfall Lake.  They asked the White Retreat for help and the help, apparently, was us. Woohoo.

Super-Hero Giles whooshed us off to the Lake but we arrived at feeding time for the Lemon Mentals.  Then we met some Thissessin wearing black ties.  These turned out to be the only nice Thissessin in the whole of Orange Rakafa and they were very upset about their babies dying in ponds.  All the other lizards thought that Sob’k was demanding Peas Meant.  We never had no Peas but they didn’t believe us.  Peas?

After we cleaned our weapons, we found Miss Tick’s Instep waystation.   In it were some Pod People who said the Gardens in Greenheart were dying from Dirty Water.  But Lithium didn’t look like he had many Gardens in him when we saw him so maybe they were little Pocket Gardens.  Anyway, they also said they had Pod Gnomes in the Pod Tower and that they were the same only different to the other gnomes that the Pod People couldn’t save because they had Fallen.  Pods.  Pockets.  Pods in Pockets in Pods…

Two Leering Tinmen, Arlath and Amatissa, gave us a potion so we could live on the Dirty Sandwich and confirmed that bits of Greenheart were dying.  They also said that the Pod People were at One with the world, the wind and the woods but it sounded more like being at Three to me. Or Two.

They had also found a Portal to the Half a Dirty Sandwich beneath the Lake.  It needed to be cut free from its anchor before we purged the Green Nose.  I have seen paladins purging in the past and it didn’t look too hard so we said we’d help out.  They also told us Ronny’s proper name. Ronny.

So, we went through a Portal that wasn’t there onto the Half a Dirty Sandwich.  Almost all of us drank the Leering Tinman potion and we met lots and lots and lots of Garamites, ‘shrooms and big purple-haired wolf things with huge gnarly teeth and got a few ward keys.  (More about these later.)  After a bit, we me a guy called Errol who seemed to work for the King and gave us a Feast.  And it was poisoned.  And Hero Brother John cured me of it just after I had poured myself a pint.  Great.

Anyway, we killed some people called Anne and her Sisters who were really dead Garamites in bad disguises.  Anyway, the King being Naughty just couldn’t resist telling us how much trouble we were in and exactly how to stop his terrible plan.  Then we killed him although I think Errol got away.   We found a corrupted Crystal Grove inside a Ward just like the King had said.  Guess how we opened this?  We did what the King had told us to and uncorrupted it like he told us we needed to.  Uncorrupting things seems to involve a lot of hitting stuff. Reflections.

Seeing that we’d run out of things to uncorrupt we left the Sandwich and went back to Miss Tick’s place.  Beer…

Fire Day

We were attacked by a bunch of Salad Whores and Wind Spirits in the morning.  The Leering Tinmen and and Concermilium came to tell us about the ritual to purge the Green Nose and they made the Ward Keys point at the Nose.  It seemed like all the Keys pointed us at was more and more Salad Whores but eventually we found the Nose in a swamp and purged it. Lemon-Mentals.

Hero Giles whooshed us back to near the Valley Inn and we appeared in the middle of a swamp.  Such a coincidence.  Turns out Lan’cet had picked that very spot for a picnic and he had obviously heard we weren’t to be trusted with other people’s Sandwiches so he shooed us away. Bully.

On the way back to the Inn, we had to give some Barbarians and Goblins a firm persuading about not stopping us from getting to our dinner.  At the Inn, we met a Blue-Green Sorceror who told us that the Goblin King had been poisoned to death and was in the Hostypital too.  More Sandwiches.

Because the Sandwich poison was like some other Poison only not the same, we had to go to Sector Seven where we picked up the antidote recipe and some blood.  It was a bargain costing only part of our Tower for most of every year.  Yay!

Martha Holmorth’s daughter needed an escort to her escort so we took her out for the Knight.  On the way back, we got jumped by some poison chaos things. Eyes everywhere.  Eyes!

Back at the Inn, Hero Brother John was talked at by Volminor, mostly about Knives as far as I could tell.  Rednow Ffuts loaned us some Naughty Goblins and me and Hero Brother John went for a little walk.  When we got back, the Naughty Goblins hadn’t told us anything.  Screams.

The Heroes decided that we should go to talk to the Yellow Guild, the Rangers and some Lizardmen to find out what they knew about the Poisoned Sandwiches.  The lizardman had a funny name and said he wanted to be listened to.  But when we listened, he didn’t say anything.  One of his advisors said the Shark Cult were behind the poisoned Sandwiches.  So either they were tiny Sharks or enormous Sandwiches. Ranting.

The Yellow Guild said that Lord Velteyn was poisoned by not meeting with the Green School of Magic who they blamed even though they hadn’t been there to do it.  Awkward.

We met some Rangers who didn’t seem to know much of anything.  We returned to the Inn where a Naughty Sorceror said he could try trace the Poison Sandwich Kitchen if he had a fresher sample.  We went to get some and on the way back we were ambushed by Roxy the Angry Mistweaver.  Cursed.

For reasons that were unclear, Roxy said we were Very Naughty and the she was Very Disappointed in us.  She said something about we had disappointed Miss Tick and something about the North Wind.  And then she attacked us. Fighting.

As we walked back to the Inn, we discussed what the Mistweavers dying curse actually meant for us.  Waiting for us were the Naughty Sorceror and a collection of Assistant Guildleaders:  Brasim Holchak of the Wardens, Thorn Oakenheart of the Archers and Selina of the Ronnies.  Dignitaries.

Someone gave us a potion that would let us stand before Lan’cet.  Unbelievably, they said this was a Good Thing to have.  Beer…

Steel Day

The Naughty Sorceror told us there were four Poison Constructs and Lan’cet nearby so we set out to find them.  We kicked in a Construct and then met Lan’cet.  Everyone had a drink this time and we kicked him in. We found the Kitchen and killed the Cook, cutting off the source of the Poisoned Sandwiches. Hurrah!

Heroes Giles and Brother John went off to the pub and we cleared up the last of the Poison Constructs.  Mouths.

When we got back, we discovered that lots had changed.  No one was poisoned any more, the School of Acting had merged with the Green school of Magic (why?), there was a new Primus and the VAT was now where Raucus Keeps his Fortune.  Although that last didn’t seem to be a big change to me. Ch-ch-ch-changes.

Then we sat down for a relaxing party.  I avoided the Sandwiches though.  Beer…
Last Updated on Thursday, 17 June 2010 20:12